Not trying to rain on anyone’s parade here but this is quite a well established story. I used it myself when running a formal dinner - well, not that formal - some years back. Some of the old boys attending, who clearly hadn’t heard it, nearly piled in(!)
It is bloody funny so well done for reminding us all.
Never heard that,pretty funny
Last time I heard that joke, it was in Jim Davidson’s set…
(Still a good one if done well!)
Postwar, he was once invited by Adolf Galland to meet a group of ex Luftwaffe pilots and upon entering the room he exclaimed “My god I had no idea we left so many of you bastards alive!”…
H.P.
I doubt Bader would speak like that to school girls, his pilots maybe.
When I heard it first, it was more plausibly a Polish pilot, regaling the girls with his experiences. With his accent he might well have pronounced it as Fokkers. Still funny though.
It reminds me of a not dissimilar story: A British Airways (mature) pilot was approaching Hamburg airport in whatever it was he was flying, and he fluffed the approach and had to go around again.
Airport control, rather testily, said “For heaven’s sake, haven’t you been to Hamburg before?”
The BA pilot replied, “Yes, it was in 1943, it was dark, and we didn’t stay long”.
When I heard Jim Davidson tell it, it was a Polish pilot on a game show. I’ve also heard Freddie Starr tell it about a different pilot.
I’ve long considered it an urban legend. While Bader could be quite rude and abrupt (especially with adults who treated him as an invalid), I can’t see him ever saying something like that in front of children. Especially girls at what we can assume was a private and well to do grammar school.
It’s a funny story, but nothing more.
In that case, should you ever have to entertain, go for the Hamburg one!
I heard the Hamburg tale about Frankfurt and ‘didn’t stay long’ was
“but we never landed”.
The first Fokkers story I read was a US fighter pilot from one of the southern states.
“Yes ma’am that’s correct but these fokkers were flyin’ Messerschmitts …”
Still funny though 
A bunch of variants (Scots, Irish, RAF et.c)
The trouble is Robin, one has to assume a certain historical knowledge, otherwise…well, this happened to me:
Some years back my local city (not much more than a town but it has a socking great cathedral so is technically a “city” apparently), was targeted by the Russians using the chemical agent Novichok to dispose of a former traitorous KGB agent. A couple of collateral-damage victims had been seen in the small town where I live at a small local Church-sponsored garden party, so, in due course, a part of the green on my estate was cordoned off by the Police. In fact, they had the wrong bit cordoned off, and when I told them, surprise, surprise, nothing happened. Now, the police manned the area day and night for around 6 weeks or so. Having, during my service, often guarded pointless things for no good reason, I felt sorry for them, and happily trotted over twice a day with coffee and bacon rolls (good citizen that I am).
During the first time I did this, I engaged in conversation a young, female Police Constable (it had nothing to do with the fact that she was stunningly attractive - honest) I pointed out that in fact the area they should be guarding was some 50m distant. She then said “I’m only obeying orders”. I responded with “That’s what they said at Nuremburg”.
Blank stare.
She simply had no idea what I was on about.
You’ve got to know your audience!
Indeed.
Knowledge, more or less any knowledge, opens up so many areas of humour, both intentional humour as well as totally random/unplanned humour.
The scene at the beginning of ‘Life of Brian’ is funnier for those who know some Middle East history and how various factions with similar names competed.
one company i worked assigned a new employee to me and he asked if the company had a pension plan.
i being a sci-fi fan said they had the “Nexus-6” retirement programme (from the film bladerunner)
he totally missed the joke and told me he would go back over to personnel and see if he could enroll for it.
oh well, nevermind.
That’s brilliant!
Even better if they hadn’t a clue either and started looking into it.
I remember that incident well Brian, not just because of the national news coverage, but I used to live in Broughton (you will recall I was an IPMS member of the local club for a while) and it made me think of you guys living there and about. I recall with some amusement that at at least one show following the incident, all the IPMS Salisbury club members turned up in mock Hazmat suits!
Even more fun was had during covid, when we arrived at the Birmingham hub to be told that anyone visiting the site had to have their temperature taken using on of those guns that they scan your head with.
my body temperature was recorded as 27 degree Celsius and my colleague was marginally lower than mine. we were given clearance to enter the site, i pointed out that i couldn’t enter the site with a temperature of 27 degrees Celsius as technically i was dead according to his portable thermometer.
greeted with another blank stare…again.
had fun the following night with another security guard the following night but that’s another story.
Well, skin temperature can drop down to 33 degrees Centigrade,
if it gets lower you are definitely feeling cold.
Right now my wrist is at 29 degrees C and my room feels slightly chilly.
@Terry1954 @phantom_phanatic @BootsDMS @Uncle-Heavy
here’s one that you guys with a dark sense of humour might appreciate
Oooohhhhh 
That’s so hilariously mean …
@Uncle-Heavy this ain’t bad either lol