I haven’t been building for a few weeks because I moved my model building space. It wasn’t easy and my wife has been pushing me for several years to do it. My daughter who we have always had a great relationship, disappeared. She said she was moving to Canada for a job and spoke of getting her paperwork in order. It came time for her move and we waited to hear from her. After some time had passed we became worried. I filled a missing persons report and a detective emailed that she is “Safe and well”. Nothing more. I don’t know what safe and well means. If you are a LEO that statement provides little information. The room was left as it was and each day my wife walked past it, rekindled the pain. Each day I thought about having to do something with the room was painful for me. We were at an impasse. Both of us were upset whether we did something with the room or not. So this month I compartmentalized my feelings and emptied her room.
My wife wanted it painted some other color and wanted me to move my model stuff in there to create a new look and feel to that space. The room fought me the entire time. It took two coats of paint. Spent half a day trying to trouble shoot and repair the ceiling fan light and wall control. Finally solved the problem by removing the fan and light and putting a light fixture we had taken down previously from another room. I never found the correct breaker for the light circuit. We had a new panel put in 5 years ago and none of the breakers remotely related turned off the circuit. The work desk is large and heavy. That was a day to dissemble, move, and reassemble. So, this is how it looks now.
Sorry to read about your family troubles Greg, and hope it all works out in time - if she’s “safe and well” then you just need to wait for her to make an approach. At least the hobby room looks great.
Sorry to hear about the problem with your daughter…I have been blessed with 3 wonderful children (all adults now)…but my girl will always be my “little girl”…I could not imagine the pain you and your wife feel…hope she comes back soon…I do not know if you are a believer or not…but please read Luke 15:11-32.
How can I NOT reply to that? 20 or 30 years ago, I couldn’t have related so much. Do I reply simply as a model builder, or a Dad/uncle/brother, too? Sometimes, when the baby birds grow up & leave the nest, they fly away and disappear. So what to do with the empty nest space? Art. Work. Time.
Give it time, do the work, create the ART. Yes, I consider our model making a form of ART. She will always live in your heart. Don’t let the grief and pain slow you down too much. And working in Human Services, and closely with Law Enforcement the last 20 or 30 years, I’d say that the little bit of info, that “safe & well”, please take that as gospel. With a new work space, and a little more “free time”, I think you’re gonna be churning out some museum-quality masterpieces. You’ve just got to keep that positive mindset! If you can set up a space like THAT, you’ll be ok, I reckon. I’m jealous! I still have to spray paint outside in good weather! And remember, Semper Fidelis applies to your daughter, as well…Can’t wait to see photos of the first project completed here! Maybe a P-40 to fly from the ceiling, to complement the artwork, and represent another little bird!?..
I am truly saddened by your post. I won’t say “Don’t worry” because you will, it’s part of human nature (except for certain individuals). An acquaintance (a former friend, but she blanked me - fortunately - a couple of decades ago) simply walked out of her house, taking a minimum of possessions with her, and disappeared off everyone’s radar. Her mother, naturally, was frantic, but was soon informed by the police her daughter was “safe and well”, but being an adult (approaching middle age now, I would estimate) they could not provide any other information without the daughter’s consent. This was about a year ago and since then no contact; not even with those few old friends who still supported her and she had not alienated. And yet, despite knowing from them she now detests me, I still find myself asking them if there has been any news.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go though this. It’s a nasty thing when family turns into something it wasn’t ever supposed to be..
Hopefully she’ll reach out to one of you ..
Thank you for your responses. Something like this you read about happening to other people but never thought about it happening to you. You wonder what you did or could have done. My wife and I have tried to figure it out but came up blank. You feel like it is a personal failing. Family get togethers get awkward and someone brings it up during dinner and says, “You should hire a detective agency and go get her.” She is 26 and that would be kidnapping. So you just hope for the best that in time she will come back. I guess it is part of that if you love them, set them free thing. She walked away and she knows the path back home. The door will always be open.
I hope your daughter is indeed "safe and well"and she reconnects with you and your wife soon. You can’t help but worry about a situation like that, it’s human nature. One of my three sons won’t have anything with me, but at least I know where he. Semper Fi.
More parenting → They try to escape to breathe freely
Less parenting → They run away to find somewhere/someone/something more supportive
There is basically no single right or wrong way.
One of my two nieces complained that she could not “revolt” against her parents:
her mother had not taken school and education seriously while
her father had taken school and education seriously so
whatever she did she would be “copying” one of her parents …
Children do the strangest things for the strangest reasons. My eldest decided one day to stop communicating with me. She’s in the UK, I’m in Oz, so i couldn’t just nip round to find out what’s happened. I worried like mad, even though i knew from other family that she was ok. i eventually came to terms with it even though it was painful. then a couple of weeks ago a message from her, no explanation (and none was needed). Strangest things for the strangest reasons.
The room looks great. i hope it brings pleasure in your hobby and look forward to the the 1st build
