Thanks for the laugh!
this is the reason i avoid office related functions
You’re welcome. I thought it was funny. 
At a party:
“So, what do you do for fun?”
“I build scale models.”
Awkward silence.
Good one lol !
Or the always popular “I’m a model railroader.”
Reply: “Oh, you play with toy trains. Do you wear a train hat?”
The reply from the vice president at Apple apparently didn’t go over well. Glad I didn’t use it. But then I don’t play golf.
You could always start with:
“I’m a compulsive wanker”
and when they look shocked follow up with
“Just kidding, I build scale model tanks”
The two are not mutually exclusive… so I’ve heard.
I remember a job application I filled in years ago, there were two questions that I had fun with:
Q: what interests do you have?
My answer: Pornography.
Q: what do your interests say about you?
My answer: I’m a bit of a wanker
strangely I never got the job, can’t think why.
Klaus
I take the liberty of presuming that you were not particularly interested in the position on offer …
I have sometimes been tempted to send applications for jobs that I do not want 
Best be careful doing that these days with Cancel Culture, you might get a knock on the door from the Wanker Police! LOL
I race cars, play golf, and fondle big-breasted women. But I take weekends and major holidays off.
Personally the only thing I find offensive about it is playing golf.
Is that a quote from “Arthur”?
The guy who lost his job at Apple was quoting the movie. Apparently they don’t play.
I have my own Christmas party story. Two years ago at our dining out, I met a woman in the hotel lobby before the dinner. I asked why she was there and she said she was a guest of the commander, who was/is a smoking hot colonel.
So as we’re going through the reception line I presented her to the colonel, who raised her eyebrows and said, “And how do you know Sergeant Skipper?” to which she replied, “I don’t. But I’m taking him home later and I’ll find out everything I need to know about him.”
This is the same colonel who sat behind me at a Korea United exercise and watched me accidentally try to put my ID card into the slot where the CD slides out rather than the slot for the ID card. She said, “Sergeant Skipper, are you trying to put it in the wrong hole again?” Without missing a beat I said it’s never wrong if she likes it.
i can see I’m not the only one drinking tonight and i would suggest that I’m not the only one on the wrong side of a few, judging by the way this thread is rapidly going down hill lol.
never let anything get between you and a nice bottle of single malt except a leggy red head (we call them a tall drink of water around here).
When I ran the swamp at work (I had the area that had blue tape on the floor with the letters “DMZ” written on it to ward off folks with no business in there. It went over so good that Stevie did the samething with yellow tape. My boss would even ask me if it was OK to come in there (there was some real expensive gadgits setting around that couldn’t moved) I had this twelve foot by four foot panel I used to hang large blue prints on (usually four foot by six feet long) that were actually government property. At one end the boss would see stuff starting to appear out of nowhere. New places to fish or maps of where I wanted to go bird hunting. After a few weeks the boss would ask me where I was off to? I’d simply say I need another five hundred dollars, and then he’d say how long? The answer was simple; when I get down to three hundred dollars! I had to cancel one trip once when I got stuck with a machine to rebuild and modify to bail his boss out of jail. He said he make it up to me, and both of them did. I nearly died when he asked me not to put any Playboy pictures on the board (never did anyway as I had a blond tall drink of water working for me). The lady was friendly, but never entered the swamp as she’d been told it was a no no. She had a sign on the wall in her office (next door to the swamp) that had big letters PMS. I finally asked her like a fool and she said putting up with men’s crap
gary